Providing counselling and 1 to 1 support to men.
We would like to continue providing 15 hours a week of support to men.
Male abuse is incredibly common but often goes undetected. In general men do not seek help. This is for many reasons but one central issue is the perceived stigma attached of being a victim. The idea that “men don’t cry” or that getting help is a sign of weakness is very prevalent.
The consequences of not seeking help are varied but usually lead to inappropriate coping mechanisms being adopted, such as alcohol and drug abuse. These inappropriate coping strategies tend to destroy their lives and their family members’ lives; harm relationships of people close to them and has a negative effect on the wider society.
In 2013, after the Jimmy Saville scandal had broken, we began to receive phone calls and e-mails from male victims of abuse asking for help. We took the decision as a charity to change our name and our charitable objectives to incorporate a male service. In the first three years of this service running we have seen over 100 male clients ranging from 15 – 72 years of age and of all ethnicities and backgrounds. Although most of these clients were talking about historic sexual abuse some were still being abused.
Over the years we have identified a pattern of unhealthy coping mechanisms being used to cover up the mental and emotional effects of abuse. We found our experience of these clients was very similar to the to the picture seen nationally. Below is a summary of some of the horrifying statistics we as a society need to face up to.
• Suicide is the most common cause of death in MALES under 35
• 65% of Alcohol related deaths are MALES
• 79% of drug related deaths are MALES
• 99% of homelessness are MALES
• 75% of prison inmates have been abused as children/adults
• 46% of domestic abuse victims were MALE last year
• 9% of assaults resulted in the victim attempting suicide
• 61% of victims of serious sexual assault suffered mental or emotional problems
• 41% of victims reported having problems trusting people or having difficulty in their other relationships
• 45% reported suffering physical pain from the most recent serious sexual assault incident they had experienced since age 16. The physical injuries victims were most likely to suffer were minor bruising or a black eye (30%).
• 3% of victims reported contracting a disease from the incidents in 3%
• Men who abused girls had 2-3 victim’s men who abused boys had 12-15 victims.